O_o

Boys and girls, the truth will set you free! I'm feeling guilty right now. I should've known better.  Well one of my friends texted me this morning and was inquiring about her photocopy of the handouts.  And i told her that they were probably there in the photocopy... and then when i started talking w/ my other friends, i just realized--oh crap! i only had 2 copies made, instead of 3! So while talking w/ my friend, i told her to photocopy her handouts and then give it to our other friend.  And then, i guess we weren't on the same page, because my plan was foiled! :( Darn... and now i feel so guilty... and when my other friend asked if i wanted to talk w/ her, i felt so guilty and nahihiya that i said...NOoOOOOo!!!! holy crap! now look who's not good w/ confrontations

actually, that is something that i discovered about myself... i'm not good pala w/ confrontations.  when i do something wrong,i just write a letter, or give a little token of some sort, but i escape like there's fire in my pants after doing those acts.  maybe it's because i'm not ready to see how the person would react?  

i don't know if i entirely became helpful w/ my other friend. oh crap! it's just that i don't mean to critique this project she's working on w/ some upperclassmen, but i just think that everything was just thrown to her, and i feel bad...plus the poster really didn't look so appealing.  OH sCRAPpy -doo! oh but who am i to talk... anyway, it's just that she's getting stressed.  doing what she's doing is really hard...and i'm worried that maybe i didn't do so well in trying to make her feel less stressed.  Well i don't know, maybe because when we were getting sponsors for the fair everything was also stressful and it was like i was telling her: those things are expected...or "you should've known better!" hahah well hopefully not the latter.  i don't want to sound like a know-it-all since i know that i also have a lot to learn in that aspect...  and i feel bad 'coz maybe i could've helped her more if i did join her committee... and i honestly hope that everything will end up great. ^_^ 

I'm absent today and i'm not yet done w/ one chapter of berne and levy... well i'm in the process of being done. :( Okay, let me describe this day...well this day isn't tuesday--for me it's still monday! ^_^ Well everything started at 11pm, when i took a break from studying physiology to drive my mom to buy something.  Anyway, i live near imelda avenue and they said that the girl who was shot on the head and who's confined in TMC right now (but they can't take the bullet out) was shot there.  And so when i drove my mom to Q-plaza which is along that area, and i only double-parked, i was really EXTRA PARANOID... i was checking out every mirror in the car to see if some odd character would come my way.  I didn't use the handbreak either, so that i can just step on the gas and escape.  CREEPY joycee! then I was gonna sleep at around 1.30, when my mom told me that they were going to the TMC.  so in other words, i probably got some 2 hour sleep, and then 4.30 i was up again... they were going to stay there...my mom suggested if it's okay if i absent myself--and also i didn't have any uniform that was ironed either...so i said... OKAY. hahaha i thought i can just read or what.

anyway, now i've let it out of my chest.  i am actually hoping that they do read this entry so that at least they'll know that i'm sorry... =S

anyway, a lot of ppl were also texting during the morning, and asking how i was--thanks for your messages ^_^ i appreciate it.  i promise that i'll know better next time, and would also be a better friend to you all! lol! that's so beauty queen-ish.  

Anyway, i'm now going to continue studying.  It is almost 1.30 and i really wanna finish that berne and levy.  i knew med school would be hard, but i never thought that i'd actually find myself this much at the bottom... like before i wouldn't think about not passing, but right now i'm really afraid that i might not pass.  it's probably cliche, but it's like doing your best, but it doesn't seem to be good enough.  i feel like i've tried everything, and i hope that it'll work out.  some people don't really realize how academically gifted they are.  you know how others do not really have to study as hard, but still get good grades?  I think those are the people w/ high IQ... i don't have a high IQ, and probably given the two situations that i just shared above, maybe i'm not even a high EQ person... so w/ everything, i have to think twice... especially with studying.  and what's funny is that even though i exert this MUCH effort, i can only get this certain grade--never above it.  i wonder if it's going to be like that as well when i'm a professional already...

anyway, those farty things are for next time...now i should get back to studying.

if my 2 friends that i've mentioned above read this, and you girls know who you are...i'm trully sorry.  Sa kaibuturan ng aking puso.

ciao!